Stop The Madness!
by FHT3rdandCo
Summary: Tenten just couldn't let this stay. It was too... crazy, wrong, idiotic! When will the madness ever stop? Lee and Hina are best friends, Temari is bi, Naruto knows all, Sasuke is frustrated, poor Shika... Warning: Random madness, fun, yuri, crack couples.
1. Chapter 1

(A/N: Oh yeah… the randomness will attack you! Mwahahaha! Okay… so this is going to be:

SasuHina(duh)

LeeTema(you know you wanna love it)

And…

UNDECIDED! T-T lol. Vote! I might take your advice! _Might_.)

((Disclaimer: I own _nothing_. Except for Burbs' soul… Bwahahaha!!))

**_WARNINGS__: Randomness, madness, yuri, crack... etc XD_**

* * *

**Stop The Madness!**

Shikamaru was having a rather bad day. First off he had to listen to his teammate(Ino) continue _on_ and _on_ about something he couldn't quite fathom. Secondly he found himself cornered in an alley way by a very irate looking weapons mistress. "I need your help." She let out in a begrudging tone.

Lee had been one of Hinata's closest friends for a long time, much to Neji's disdain. When he brought his team to the Hyuuga household he had been hoping _Tenten_ and Hinata would bond. It was odd how when he sent Lee and Tenten searching for the Hyuuga heiress she had only been found by the Taijutsu specialist.

When she was found however, she was doing the thing Rock Lee adored the most.

Training.

Surprisingly enough, the two bonded quickly. It was odd to say the least that she got along so well with the exuberaunt male.

Tenten didn't mind much. Not at all actually. She did find the girl cute, but she wasn't very fond of female friends.

What Tenten did mind was when she overheard a certain conversation… a certain _few_ conversations.

* * *

"W-what is i-it Lee-san?"

A sigh could be heard.

"Nothing…"

Hinata furrowed her brows, "N-no it's not… n-now tell me, y-you know I-I'll just worry if you d-don't…"

He blushed, "W-well… I-I…" Hinata suddenly knew.

"It's a-about Sakura-san?"

He nodded, a defeated look taking over his features.

"W-what is this t-time?"

"Temari-san."

Hinata blinked, "What o-of h-her?"

He gulped, "S-she… likes Sakura-san."

An awkward silence dropped on them.

"E-eh…?" you could _hear_ Hinata's hot blush.

"Temari-san is in love with Sakura-san."

_Awkward_.

"She told me to 'stay away from her prey'…"

Both of them were fairly innocent minded people. When Lee thought of his beloved, he thought about protecting her and helping her in any way he could manage. When Hinata thought of hers she thought about holding hands and assisting their dreams.

Yuri was far from something they were ready for.

Coughing awkwardly they both looked at the floor.

* * *

'_Damn her…_' the wench, that evil _seductress_ **haunted **his thoughts. Everywhere he went, everyone he saw… it only served to help fuel the _highly_ unhealthy obsession.

The worst part was she _really_ wasn't trying to. And he knew it.

Her oversized jackets were not a way of teasing and tormenting him. It was simply her fashion sense. But he continued to curse them as tools for taunting him.

She hardly knew of his existence. It was _not_ that she was playing 'hard to get'.

But that's what it felt like.

He clenched his eyes shut and rubbed his forehead.

There was only one solution.

Kill Hyuuga Hinata.

* * *

"They're _perfect_ for each other!" the other female nodded in agreement.

Lee and Hinata were perfect for each other. They just didn't know it.

Despite the fact that he didn't know it, Lee stood in the best position for Sakura's heart. She liked him. Wouldn't admit to it. But she did.

That was why Temari needed to set Lee up with someone.

Who best to approach with a match-making problem than a certain blond haired flower arranger?

"You know, you are exactly right! We so need to set them up!" Ino smiled brilliantly, "I'll call Sai-kun! He's really insightful on this kind of stuff!"

Temari wondered if she was even talking about the same Sai she knew.

* * *

This needed to be stopped.

She knew that much when she searched for Neji to help her.

"-and that's why I _need_ to get Hinata-chan away from Lee-kun! They're both so dense, but they _obviously_ like each other."

Tenten nearly groaned. No. Not again.

Neji raised an eyebrow, "So you're telling me that after _all this time_, you've become interested in Lee?"

She blushed, "N-no…! I-I…" she looked down, "I've liked him for awhile…"

"Fine. I'll help you Haruno, but _only_ because I'm not fond of those two as a couple either."

'_Nooooo!_' why? The only smart, sensible, person left in the village…

* * *

"So you want me to help you?"

"Yes!"

Tenten slid down the tree in terror. '_No… Shino was my last hope…_'

"I want to get together with Naruto-baka!"

"And why are you coming to me for help…?"

"You're smart. Yeah, I could go to the Uchiha or Haruno, but they're both bubble heads. _You_ on the other hand, are smart."

"You're not going to leave me alone until I agree are you?"

"Yep!"

A pact was than made between Aburame Shino and Hyuuga Hanabi.

* * *

"You are my last hope. You _will_ help… or I will hang you… by your 'privates'." Tenten gritted out as she tightened her grip on the poor Nara.

"We have to stop the madness!!"

_**TBC**_

* * *

((End Notes: Poor Shika... and Tenten... They're doomed. XD)) 


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N: Wow… I knew the first chapter didn't make sense when I wrote it, but after re-reading it… you guys must be _so_ confused!! X3)

And these are the couples thus far!

SasuHina

LeeTema

ShikaTen(someone wanted it)

NejiSaku(I love this one)

_And…_

Undecided pairings! Whoot! Vote for something! Just make it nice and cracky! X3

* * *

Chapter Two

-Lee and Hinata-

"W-we need to co-come up with a-a plan!"

Lee nodded in agreement.

"We c-can't let T-Temari-san w-win Haruno-san's h-heart!"

Lee nodded once more, far less exuberant than usual.

"But how?"

Lee's sudden question stopped Hinata in her tracks.

"I-I don't kn-know…"

Silence consumed them both.

They had gotten used to the idea of Temari liking Sakura. It had taken awhile and quite a bit of ice-cream, but they calmed down.

Now they needed a plan.

"W-we need to…" Hinata trailed off and sighed in defeat. Flopping down on her bed she pouted at the floor.

Rock Lee, who was sitting cross-legged on said floor, let out a sigh of defeat.

Neither were the conniving types. They couldn't come up with an evil plot if they tried, and if they did they would likely feel too guilty about it to actually _do_ anything.

"P-perhaps we c-could…" she gulped, "-pl-p-plot over a-a bowl of r-ramen…?"

Lee quickly agreed and jumped to his feet, "Ichiraku's?"

She nodded, "H-hai."

* * *

"So… let me get this strait… Temari is in love with Sakura but feels that _Rock Lee_ is a threat so has joined forces with Ino and _Sai_ to set Lee up with Hinata, both of whom are bummed at the news of Temari's feelings and unsure what to do. Meanwhile Hyuuga Hanabi and Shino have joined forces to set Hanabi up with Naruto for unknown reasons. And Sakura and Neji are plotting on separating Lee and Hinata because Sakura _does_ have feelings for him…"

Tenten nodded, "Put simply; yes."

Shikamaru rubbed his forehead. "Too troublesome…"

Tenten suddenly looked horrified, "_Please_ don't tell me _you_ are interested in someone as well!"

Shikamaru gave her a skeptical look and rolled his eyes, "I have no interest in romance as of yet, too troublesome."

Tenten sighed in relief, "You had me worried… after all you seem rather close to both blonds involved."

He shot her a confused look, "Naruto and Ino?"

She shot him a droll look, "Dimwit."

"Whatever…" he sighed and looked up at the clouds as they walked, "Just another question… are you sure those are all the players?"

She blinked, "Huh?"

"Well… those were just the people you happened to overhear conversing. What about those you might not have heard? Or lone players who haven't gone for help?"

Tenten's heart sank.

'_There could be __more_'

Shikamaru clucked his tongue, displeased with her lack of foresight, glancing ahead of him he spotted two of the _known_ players. Seemingly the centers of attention even.

"Oi, onna, there's Lee and Hinata."

'_Onna?! Who the hell does this asshole think he…-?!_' putting her anger aside for later she followed his line of sight.

There, seemingly walking towards Ichiraku's, were the taijutsu specialist followed by the Hyuuga heiress.

The two shared a look.

They would need to spy.

It was the only way to figure out what those two planned to do.

* * *

Hinata was both happy and disappointed when the ramen booth was near empty.

Happy: no crowds.

Sad: no Naruto.

In fact, the only other patron was the hyperactive ninja's one and only best friend, Uchiha Sasuke.

'_Good… he probably won't bug us even if he overhears._'

Sitting down and quickly ordering ramens they turned back to the problem.

"T-Temari-san is a-a very a-alluring women… i-if we don't do a-anything sh-she'll defiantly win H-Haruno-san's heart!"

* * *

Sasuke nearly choked on his meal.

'_W-what?!_'

_Temari_ and _Sakura_?!

The first thought to come to his mind was confusion considering their genders.

The next was Hinata's phrasing.

'_Does that mean Hinata's after Sakura as well as Lee?_'

His brow twitched.

This was getting confusing.

Sipping up some more noodles, he paid close attention to their conversation.

"Sakura-san wouldn't _really_ go that way… w-would she?"

Lee sounded nervous.

"O-of course not! Y-you still h-have a chance! A-and I-I'll help!"

Lee smiled brightly; he always could depend on Hinata.

"Thanks Hinata-san…"

She smiled in return.

The scene seemed all _too_ lovey-dovey for Sasuke's tastes.

'_I thought they were just friends… but what if…?_' he didn't want to think about it. It was none of his business.

What was really irking him though was the two Shinobi's hiding nearby and listening in as well.

'_Why the hell are Shikamaru and Tenten…?_' it only got more confusing.

'_What's going on…?_'

A thought struck him.

Tenten was on Lee's team.

They were close friends.

What if he used her to get Lee away from _his_ Hinata…?

An evil smile grew on his face.

Match-making wasn't his thing.

But this wasn't match-making… it's… getting rid of the competition!

Satisfied with his logic, Sasuke paid his attention to ramen once more.

* * *

((Ending Notes: Wow… random XD lol. I take suggestions for randoms, just FYI. X3)) 


	3. Chapter 3

(A/N: Hiya! So anyway I got two reviews saying they hated NejiSaku…

The fun part about this?

I like quite a few pairings with Neji and Sakura Xd soooo since no one seemed ecstatic about my choice of pairing there _anyway_ I might as well change it, ne? XD

_But_ you have to vote for a different Sakura pairing and a different Neji pairing in this chapter or else I will…

…_keep_ NejiSaku! Bwahahaha!

Soooo, the pairings thus far:

SasuHina

LeeTema

NaruIno(by request)

ShikaTen(by request)

_And_ some one sided GaaKaka by request! X3 lol, that'll be my first ever attempt at anything yoai XD I'll try my best!!

Shame… I was hoping to put some NaruHana in there… hmmmm… perhaps GaaHana instead? Mwahaha….)

* * *

_**Stop The Madness!**_

_**Chapter Three: Deviously Plotting**_

"T-Temari-san! I-I know this is re-really s-selfish--"

"—but we would both really appreciate it—"

They stopped for a second to breath before speaking together.

"St-stay away from Sakura-san!"

"No." '_Did they practice this?_'

Bummed that their ingenious plan had failed, the two slunk off in mild depression.

"W-we can d-do it Lee-san!" Hinata said while trying to sound optimistic.

"Hai!"

"W-we… we… we ju-just need to sound m-more demanding!"

* * *

"Pl-please stay away fr-from Sakura-san?"

"No."

"Oh phoo…"

* * *

Tenten and Shikamaru sweat-dropped, _this_ was the absolute _best_ those two could do?

* * *

Lee suddenly looked nervous, turning to Hinata he spoke, "A-ano… Hinata-san?"

Hinata looked at him, "Yes?"

"Wh-what if Temari-san makes Sakura-san… h-happy?"

Hinata's eyes widened, he was right! The possibility was open!

"A-and… what if Temari-san likes Sakura-san as much as I do…?"

* * *

"G-GOMEN!!" the green clad lad and his Hyuuga companion bowed deeply to the Kunoichi from Suna.

"Apology not accepted."

* * *

It was than decided between both Shikamaru and Tenten that it was simply _impossible_ for those two to cause any trouble what-so-ever.

It was kind of sad.

* * *

Hanabi chuckled; her plan was going perfectly…

…except for the single pit-fall of actually having to _spend time_ with the hyperactive blond.

It hadn't taken much for Shino to convince Naruto to make an appearance at the Café("Come with me." "E-eh? DATTABOYO?!") it also hadn't taken much to convince the boy that sitting with the lone Hanabi was a good idea, after all, she was probably lonely sitting all alone("We're sitting there." "But there's already someon—" "We. Are. Sitting. There.") and then mysteriously having a… 'mission' to attend to, Shino had left them.

Despite how nervous and terrified Shino always seemed to make Naruto, he was babbling _on_ and _on_ about some entirely _random _topic.

"—and then Sakura-chan said—"

Her eye twitched, yes, she was happy with her plan… but _geez_, did he ever _shut up_.

She would never, in a million years, admit that it was a nice change from the permanent silence that had taken claim of the Hyuuga compound.

* * *

"…we need help."

Tenten sighed and nodded in agreement, there was no way in hell just the two of them could stop this madness. They had spent all day running around, planting bugs, and spying on people they wished they didn't have to.

Shino was someone they _really_ would have liked to have on their team; with his many bugs they would have an entire tiny army at their beck and call…

…and they wouldn't have to run around like Gai after losing a match.

Another deep sigh.

"Kiba?"

"Can't keep a secret."

"Chouji?"

"On a mission."

"Tsunade-sama?"

"Would laugh her ass off."

"Shizune-san?"

"A busy person."

"Then who?!"

"Who for what?"

They blinked in surprise, turning to the sudden voice.

Grinning, dango hanging in her teeth, the jounin looked at them questioningly.

"You know… she might just work."

"I think you may be right."

A blink of confusion, "Huh?"

* * *

Ino smiled happily, thinking of the many ways she would tormen—I mean _match make_ Lee and Hinata.

'_The simplest tactic is to lock them in a closet, but they are both so innocent that they would probably just converse to pass the time… or Lee would knock down the door. Damn him and his super-strength…_'

Her eyes brightened, she wouldn't be doing the usual idiotic match-making people asked of her… no, she would be doing _real_ match-making. They didn't _know_ they liked each other yet, even subconsciously, which meant she would have to be a little more… _hands off_.

She smirked, oh… this just got better and better.

Now if only Sai would hurry up and show up... then she would explain the game plan.

* * *

Sasuke's left eye twitched.

This… was harder than he thought.

'_Lock them in a closet…? No… that's stupid… forget the entire thing and just kill him? Tempting… but no._' He sighed.

He just wasn't made for match-making.

But he would rather _die_ than ask for help.

'_Perhaps… if I made one of them jealous…?_' jealousy was a powerful tool… and there were chances of back-firing.

'_I need to plan more…_'

* * *

Gaara sighed.

He would need to contact the Haruno about his… _problem_.

He cursed the Hatake mentally…

…for not noticing his feelings.

* * *

((Ending Notes: That will be all… for now XD lol.

READ UNTOLD!!

-Muse-chan.))


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